- Self Love Blogs -
I have never been a reader. And I mean, never. I managed to get through college without reading a single book (thank you, Sparknotes!!). However, in 2021, I picked up a book, and never stopped reading. I discovered the magical world of fiction. I discovered that reading was just like watching a lengthy TV show, but better. All the details began to dance in my mind, and I fell in love.
In January, I set a goal to read 52 books this year. That equals one book per week. I honestly didn’t think I would make it, but I finished my 52nd book this week, and I’ve learned a ton about myself throughout this process.
Depression is a strange thing. This past week, I went through a pretty major depressive episode; one that I didn’t realize I was going through until it was almost over.
I have no shame in saying I was depressed, because it felt like any physical cold or flu would- something was attacking my body; my mind. I couldn’t control it, and I just had to let it ride.
It stopped very suddenly, and my world went from black and white to color in the blink of an eye. I could suddenly feel anxious thoughts coming toward me, and my mind almost pushing them away. Everything felt so intentional… so physical. This felt like a real attack on my own mind, and my mind was simply trying to defend itself.
It’s no secret that mental illness is a pretty tough topic to talk about. Not only has it been seen as a ‘taboo’ subject for many years, but talking about an emotion that you feel so strongly that it completely consumes you, is no easy task.
I want to open up to you here. Not because it’s easy for me, or particularly helpful for me, but because I hope it can be helpful to you if you’re going through this. When I was severely depressed, one of the only things that helped was realizing that other people felt the EXACT way I did. It couldn’t be my fault, because they felt it too. I didn’t know those people necessarily, but I knew that I wasn’t the only person in the world going through that. So if you are struggling, please read this. Remember that, no matter how deep in that hole you are buried, there’s someone else in the world who completely understands how you are feeling. And yes, no matter how cheesy this sounds, it does get better. IT DOES. It will always be there, and it will always be a struggle, but this feeling will not be all-consuming forever. And I’m sorry that you are here, where I was just a few short years ago. (Read More)
3 years ago I got my first dog. We didn’t exactly plan this, but we met our girl and she was perfect. Unable to resist, we took her home the same day. I had never had a dog before, and had no idea what to do. As a new mother, I bought every toy, fluffy bed, food bowl, and treat I could find. However, I was still completely unprepared for the biggest hurdle yet, her separation anxiety.I remember the first time we actually left her alone in our tiny apartment. She SCREAMED. I couldn’t get down the hall without breaking down and turning back. I mean, we didn’t just have her to worry about, we had neighbors on all sides. I was suddenly under house arrest. We googled absolutely everything. We called the shelter where we adopted her. We tried to find an in-home trainer (that we could afford). Nothing seemed possible. (Read More)
I recently went through a period of unemployment where I felt a little lost and a lot broke. I was twenty-five, with no job, no money, and no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I slowly isolated myself from the rest of the world, realizing (based what I saw on Instagram) that I was probably the only one going through this.
That is, until one day when I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She had just moved in with her gorgeous boyfriend, adopted a puppy, and had a great job. Surely, her life was perfect. I asked how she was doing and her response was not what I was expecting, “Girl, my life is a MESS. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
It suddenly dawned on me – I wasn’t the only one who was feeling this way. In fact, everyone I spoke with after that conversation felt the exact same way.
As many people have said we are in tough times right now but this blog is to remind you that it won’t be like this forever and we can get through this together.
There are 3 main things that I have been trying to live by and remind myself throughout this life transition. Those are below: